“Sometimes we let life guide us, and other times we take life by the horns. But one thing is for sure: no matter how organized we are, or how well we plan, we can always expect the unexpected.” ~ Brandon Jenner
So as my amazing friend Kerry just completed the London Marathon run, I am feeling incredibly proud of her and endlessly grateful because half of the money she raised is in memory of my beautiful Elizabeth.
But I am also feeling very sad because a year ago I too applied for this marathon with a great hope to get a place. I also encouraged seven of my supporters to do the same so we could have our own rainbow team. Kerry was one of them although she ran the London Marathon twice before and was NOT going to do it again. Yet, when I asked her to join, she was too kind to say no. Guess what? None of the rest of my team got the place- except for Kerry!
Now, I am not a runner. Literally, I am not able to run even a mile without stopping to remain alive. And, if I am being honest, I actively dislike running anyway. So why am I feeling so sad then? Well, it is not because I wasn’t running the London Marathon (although I would quite enjoy to fast-walk it) but because whenever I try to make some plans for my life, they just never work.
For instance, when I finished my coastal walk, I planned to go back to Ukraine to look after my mum who had dementia. The London Marathon seemed a perfect option to continue fundraising for Elizabeth’s Footprint while being physically in Ukraine as I could train for it there. Yet, as someone wise said – ‘life happens to you while you are busy making other plans’. My mum passed away within a month after I entered the ballot. Instead of Ukraine I found myself living on the Outer Hebrides (which I didn’t even know existed!). And I also failed in getting into the London race.
Although it is just one recent example, the truth is that all things in my life that I tried to plan very carefully, ended up like this. I don’t really know whether it was my own fault or the whole universe was against me, but as a result I developed a real phobia of planning which blossoms especially bright after I lost my Elizabeth.
Well, living a life without a plan is equivalent to walking without a destination. Although sometimes it sounds quite liberating, generally it is rather confusing and very stressful. These days, I experience the practical downside of it since I failed to plan properly for my hospital’s walk. I must admit, the lack of preparation makes me struggle every single day. Goodness knows on how many occasions I wished I could press a ‘pause’ button so I could organise some things better in order to maximise my hard effort. But of course, I cannot do that.
So, as Kerry was running the London Marathon yesterday, I spent my entire rest day checking on her progress and thinking deeply about how to plan things so that they work. As, it seems like it would make a lot of sense to invest more time in organising my next walking challenge. Obviously, this is assuming that I can overcome my planning phobia! Please help me if you know a special key to successful planning that could help me to unlock this essential skill.
Thank you so much!
Or go to https://www.justgiving.com/Natalia-Spencer/ or you can text ELIF 55 to 70070